When something is too GOOD to be true, it usually is. Here i was, lashing on how i will NEVER love again only to realise im in-love with life and its ups and downs.
But i was talking bout loving another human being like i did with Mr M, (please im smart enough to to snitch on myself, LOL). Me n Mr M, were amazing together (so i thought)then the whole thing happened and had a DIVA BREAK UP MOMENT, i pulled myself towards myself when Mr F came into the picture, we are not lovers, just friends (no benefits either). His a smart,no intelligent man, has a warm heart, amazing, motivating, i mean this is an ideal man for most single ladies out there and i just love being his friend.
Well, we all know the heart has no respect for difficult situations and how sometimes it makes more sense to leave things the way they are. I started to get all warm and fuzzy like it was spring in my stomach while im wearing a ching-chingler on the outside. I cared like i shouldn't and it made it hard to focus on the game at hand, ME. I dont care who you are, how old you are, how much money you have but loneliness will creep on you like a motherF^&%$*.
From feeling totally alone to having someone who cares about you, its silly not to feel ANYTHING for this person. Time and time again, i reassured myself that this is just fun, "Who will get hurt, not me." I'm an idiot (im only gonna admit this once in my life-time) how can i be this blind, how can i let my insecurities create a part of me that i dont benefit from? I let past experiences ruin the good life i long for.
Im taking charge, im not gonna let another good deal slip through my fingers, im not gonna let myself live in fear, im not gonna let myself miss an opportunity to say I LOVE U, and mean it, im not gonna be ashamed to text i miss you. It takes a fool to fall and never get back on track but it takes a BRAVE fool to crawl to happiness, im that BRAVE FOOL, im crawling to my happiness, i deserve it....
Love, Mmapaseka aka MpKaY
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