It kills Me

The best lessons in life are free. Some are painful, simple, fun and educational. We find out interesting things about ourselves wen we are down or not when we have been robbed out of our happiness. We have to understand that it takes two to tango (not to ingwaza) and you should always be alert to where you place feet,while dancing.

I danced the night away with my eyes closed and when i opened them i was all all alone, in the dark with awful tunes behind me, thats a sad scene. My epiphany to all of this was, i should lean to dance with my eyes closed again but this time with a partner who dances to the same tune as i do.

My happily everlasting ended today (20 January 2010) at 4:15am. I got an SMS stating the termination of our contract, at that time it got really hot,even though it was chili and cold, my heart stopped beating for a sec and my eyes got really wide from reading such a disturbance. I then reaslied that the reason was because "our relationship was on partime", that hurts more than the "its not you its me" break up line. The other part killed me is that "id he'd be wasting my time and his time if we continue".I then fetch my mp3 player and listen to Melanie Fiona-It kills Me.

This is not how i imaged the great fall, i was unprepared for lift off. I then remeberd the good, the bad and the "WTF" moments and i knew it had to end. So far im sad, mad as hell and emotional-for a robot like me, its impossible-. I didn't cry, i don't see the need for it. It changes nothing but i heard it makes you feel better, RIGHT!

Telling my girls about this is like an episode of "Sex In The City", you get to text, call and reply to 3 different opinions about it, even though they are being supportive, they are blowing this out of proportion. I love them so much.

From this unpleasent ordeal, ive lent not love again, (i know at my age it sounds insane, but for my hearts sake, its for the best) deep inside i think i should call it quits and live with no extra unpaid work called, LOVE.

Love- is the only act no human being is a master of.

yah!!!

I just realised what i asked God 2years ago just happened. I asked him to be loved and to love in-return, i did and i enjoyed it. But one thing i forgot to ask or to include in my prayer was the kind of person i wanted. I asked for a kind, loving and funny guy, thats all right? WRONG!!!

He wasn't a Mens health cover dude but he was all a woman would love to have. (basically he had his flows n thats what made him human, what made him a "problem" was his lack of interest in my life and other stuff) *don't know how long it took me to see that*

He did swip me off my feet and i loved every minute, hour, day, month and a year i had with him. I fell inlove with him, he fell inlove with me ( i was the commercial gf {girlfriend}) and most of his boys new about me and i knew them. It was like getting high with your Dr and it was worth the bill.

I tured into a 98% sister and i got cutt off for 2%... According to him and his paranoid mind i cheated with whom, where when? is all a mystery... I have been accused of a crime, my excuse to this cop sounds like an alibi me n my gradmother sat down fot 5hours plotting. I am innocent till said otherwise.

But this is just the beginning to a healing chapter in my life. We fall in, live in and then fall out. Falling out is always the hard part that looks& feels like a lifetime to get-over some1... For me this will mark the last chapter in dating, PERIOD!. Im going to be a nun. Why? I dont know but im sure there will be a reason.

MPKAY

Mole

A message is created to inform people and hopefully they (the receiver) would be smart enough to understand and reply. We sent and receive these things and its how you interpret it. I mean if i send you a "please call me", you (the receiver) would know what to do, unless your an idiot.

I got an alarming message last night about a certain thing (I'd love to give you details but NO!). We will call this "thing" -mole-... My mole was visible to someone and he, yes he, asked me about it and i explain, he "believed" me and now after a week he thinks my mole is not really a mole... he thinks a certain mosquito bit me and he wants to know if his right. Oh...K...this is me here, i wont say something to please your ears... Im MPK... I make my own rules and "live" by them...if i said its a mole and you saw a mole hen its a mole...if you see something else halla at a sister and i will help me understand.

Its pretty useless reading this and not really understanding JACK! but bear with me, this blog gets better as long as im alive... its better that way.

MNJM

The Beginning

It all starts here, the insane thoughts, ideas, questions and more emotions than Days of our Lives... Its all a matter of time till some1 sees all of this and ask me the most (or least) important question to me @ the time, "Why"?

Don't think you'll find an answer just see how i kinda reflected your problems...

one love, peace and smile dammit...
Mpkay.